


Tao

by Stroplok



Category: EXO
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 04:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stroplok/pseuds/Stroplok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For dragonphoenix77 - Happy Valentine</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tao

Tao was prepared to fight. Like he fought his way through wushu competitions and dance auditions and singing lessons and studying and graduating.

As he boarded the plane, passport clutched tightly in hand, he kept going through it all in his mind. He was new and foreign. He wasn't the best dancer, was hardly the best singer. This was going to be the hardest, the loneliest, the toughest fight of his life. He was going to have to fight to be seen, fight to be heard, fight to be chosen. And everyone else would be fighting for exactly the same thing.

         - I won't let them bring me down. I will win this. -

 

A woman picked him up at the airport. She held a board with his name on it. As he sidled up to her she grabbed his bags, emptied his hands. It could be courtesy, he thought, but as he watched her stuff his passport into her pocket, he reminded himself once again to not trust anyone, not trust anything.

 

They take him from the airport to the dorm room, which is small, and grey and without personality (and still better than the last place he stayed). From the dorm they take him to the practice room. The only bit of Korea he sees is from the car window.

 

The exterior of the SM building looks fancy, but inside it’s cramped and cold. Everyone goes about their business without giving each other a second glance. And no one looks like a star.

 

They give him half an hour to look around. Warn him about being rude to seniors, and then he has to report for dance-practice in room so-and-so. They give him a schedule, printed out on an A4-paper. (The ink is fading in some places, and he thinks this is disillusionment).

 

After hiding in a bathroom stall for twenty minutes he heads to the basement for his first dance lesson.

-The practice room is empty and when he sees the sky covered wallpaper his heart soars.-

   He takes the chance to stretch out after the long trip, and he relishes in the twinge in his muscles. (There is still this, he assures himself, you still have this).

 

The door opens, and a boy walks in tossing his training bag to the corner. Zitao stands and waits to be noticed. The boy takes off his headphones and his beanie, ruffling his hair. He stops suddenly and turns towards Zitao, who puts on his best smile. _“Oppa annyeonghaseyo_ ”, he cringes as his voice echoes slightly in the empty practice-room. He holds his bow, a beat then two, then stands. The shorter boy seems shocked and just stares. Then he breaks out into a wide smile, all gums and amusement, and inclines his head briefly with his own greeting.

 

Slowly more boys start trickling in, and Zitao retreats to one corner, back against the wall taking them in from under his fringe. They all glance at him briefly, but no one seems particularly fazed by his presence.

 

Someone puts on some music and they all start dancing, and the choreography is hard and fast, and they somehow lose their distinctive characteristics and all he sees is their long dark hair, and practiced movements, and why do they all have the same shoes?

(You can do this, you can do this.)

 

His first dance practice is terrible, and so is his singing lesson, and his rapping lesson, and somehow he even messes up lunch. No one tells him kimchi-stains are a bitch (no one tells him anything) so he spends ten minutes scrubbing at his shirt, and ends up late for his Korean lesson.

 

(He tries not to die of mortification when they get to the honorifics and titles)

 

 

After a private wushu lesson (which is simultaneously the best and worst lesson of the day, because he knows this, but his instructor is his toughest teacher yet), his first day comes to an end, and he goes to the reception area and waits. The woman who picked him up from the airport comes to meet him and walks him to the dorm, emphasizing that he’ll have to find his own way from now on. The walk is short, and he assures her he won’t get lost (it’s the thing he’s surest of all day).

 

The dorms are shabby, and the walls are empty, but there is a smell of food in the air, and it’s warm. The woman introduces him to two boys cooking ramyun in the kitchen. He bows, and watches the rapid fire Korean that is exchanged between them for a while, and tries not to let his eyes linger too hungrily at the ramyun.

 

Once the woman leaves though, the two boys switch to Chinese and he feels his shoulders slump in relief.

 

_

 

The days get easier soon enough. He gets used to sweating through several t-shirts a day, and singing till his throat hurts and being told off in a language he doesn’t understand. (He learns the swearwords quickly enough, as well as every variation of _do better, work harder, not good enough, wrong wrong wrong_ imaginable).

 

Two months in and he’s moved up in dance class, but the lunch lady still doesn’t know what meal he’s asking for.

The Chinese trainees stick together, and on weekends they take him to the Han river (because it’s the only thing to do when you have no money). He whispers their names to his grandmother when she calls in the early morning. _Wufan, Luhan, Yixing._

 

Three months in and he’s ushered into a room with ten other boys and told that they have been chosen for debut. He looks around the room, and his friends are there with him, and he laughs as they hug him, but across the room he sees the quiver of someone’s lip, and he remembers Luhan whispering about _six years,_ and as he looks around the room he realizes that some of these people have been in this room before, and heard these words before, and nothing is ever certain until you set foot on stage. And even then you might still fade into obscurity before you show what you’ve got.

 

They’re given the names m1 and m2, and while the Korean trainees are moved back and forth the Chinese members remain together. Their training time is extended with two hours, and there is always at least three people watching, taking notes, filming.

Word travels fast, and by the end of the week even the schoolgirls that hang around outside the building know that something is happening. (They point at him as he walks past, and while some of them squeal and giggle, their eyes feel like daggers as he stares blindly at his phone).

 

He hasn’t been training for long, and knows there are others that have been here longer that feel snubbed, so he pretends he doesn’t notice the derisive looks or snide comments (Wufan told him long ago the meaning of the word _jjangkkae)._

 

-

 

They’re moved into a new dorm, with the Korean trainees, and suddenly the Chinese spoken is at a minimum.

Tao is good at making friends, and he’s always had a way with words. But what good to words do, when they’re in the wrong language.  Sometimes he is able to get by. Minseok (call me oppa, he still teases) is easygoing and patient, and they get by with simple words and sign language.

Sehun ignores formality, but still acts younger, and they take pictures together in the bathroom mirror, and he doesn’t seem to realize Tao only understands about half of the things he says.

 

-

 When Tao gets sick Yixing carries him on his back to the hospital, and even though they have to stop several times so he can catch his breath, he insists that Tao really isn’t that heavy.

He holds his hand as the doctor checks on him, and translates with more eloquence than Tao has ever seen him show.

 

-

 

It feels like a path has been set, but one day Moonkyu packs his bags and Sehun cries on Tao’s shoulder as Jongin and Joonmyun argue in the other room and Tao doesn’t know where to look.

 

A week later Baekhyun is in his place, and no one seems fazed. (Two weeks later, and even Jongin can’t hide his laughter as Baekhyun and Chanyeol dance around the practice-room, making jokes and being silly).

 

 

-

During Chinese New Year the Korean trainees go to see their families and Tao gets drunk with Luhan, who pretends he doesn’t see him cry. Yixing brings Chinese takeout and doesn’t taste like home, but as Wufan slips a red envelope into his hand before he goes to bed, Tao thinks that maybe this is good enough.

 

-

He forgets his own birthday, but Kyungsoo has placed a chocopie with a candle through next to his bibimbap when he gets out of the shower, and Joonmyun gives him a dictionary with a little note full of smileys and aegyo-speak.

 

-

Baekhyun orders him around a lot, and although Tao thinks it’s a little ridiculous to call him over to get a glass of water when Baekhyun is already in the kitchen he soon realizes that it only happens just as Tao is looking around and starting to think of home.

 

-

Minseok breaks up with his girlfriend on a Saturday and Tao and Luhan drag him out to play football in the park. Luhan teaches Minseok Chinese swearwords, Tao tackles him into a tight hug, and as they head home Minseok is smiling.

 

-

 

Jongdae joins them suddenly, and tension rises, as they wait for someone else to be asked to leave. Joonmyun tries to join the dance practice despite his leg injury, and Kyungsoo sings until he loses his voice.

Three weeks later Wufan mentions something about twelve being an even number, and the numbers on a clock, and the tension seeps out of the practice room.

Jongdae smiles appreciatively and Yixing jokingly calls him _Duizhang._ Wufan waves his hand dismissively, but by the end of the week, no one calls him anything else.

 

-

 

It gets warmer, and Wufan drags him out to play basketball and Jongin joins, and Tao musters up the nerve to ask for help with his dancing, because he’s falling behind and Yixing’s still recovering from his back injury. (Always recovering).

 

Jongin wakes him up a few days later, at five in the morning, already in his school uniform, and goes through a routine with him on the rooftop and tells him (informally) to _practice like hell_ before running off, schoolbag hanging off one shoulder.

 

_

 

Joonmyun takes all twelve of them out to dinner, and they are all so loud and rowdy the restaurant manager threatens to throw them out. Jongdae charms them out of it though, and even manages to get a free round of drinks for everyone.

(The waitress slips Wufan her number as they leave, and everyone pokes fun of his flustered expression.)

Tao snaps a picture of them as they leave the restaurant, and although it’s blurry, and no one is looking at the camera, he thinks that this moment is perfect.

 

-

 

As the months pass and debut begins to seem more certain, other SM-town seniors begin to look in on their practices.

Yunho stands in the corner a few times as they dance. Kyuhyun looks in on their singing lessons.

Taemin joins in as Jongin teaches Tao a few dance-steps, and even Boa comes to watch once.

 

When Sungmin stops him in the hallway and asks about his wushu training, the other trainees take notice. A group of boys corner him as he heads home that day, and he’s never fought a day in his life but his training has been good for something, and lands in a few kicks and punches before an ajusshi walking by breaks them up.

 

When he gets home only Chanyeol is up, and he doesn’t ask any questions, but helps him ice his bruises and clean his scraped knees.

The silence is awkward because the language barrier has always seemed largest with Chanyeol, but he pats Tao on the back and makes him some tea, and they let the TV fill the quiet.

 

-

 

When summer hits Sehun drags him out for patbingsoo and takes him home for dinner. Sehun’s room is small and he seems nervous as Tao looks around, but they squeeze together on the bed and read manhwas till Mrs. Oh calls them for dinner.

Sehun looks sad as he bids his parents goodnight, Tao holds his hand all the way back to the dorm, and realizes distance isn’t only measured across borders.

 

-

 

By the end of summer the lunch lady still doesn’t quite understand him, but she knows his favourite dishes and they have established a wordless rapport.

Baekhyun buys him lunch, and introduces him to one of his high school friends. She is studying Chinese, and has a pretty smile.

They go out three times, and she lets him kiss her in the alley by the dorms, but he spends most of his time at the company, she switches majors to economy) and they part on good terms. Baekhyun seems the most upset. Tao makes it up to him with dukbokki.

 

-

 

The company gives Luhan a haircut, and puts Kyungsoo on a diet.  One of the company noonas tells him that their songs have been picked out.

Jongdae and Minseok have to spend an hour more daily in language lessons.

 

Two weeks later they are given the name Exo.

 

_

 

They start learning choreography as the weather gets colder, and by November, they’ve recorded the entire album. Next there are teaser pictures and video, and a new years performance to prepare for.

 

When the first teaser is released they sit together in the practice room and watch the reactions roll in. (Jongin’s voice shakes as he answers calls from his parents and his sisters and his friends.)

 

On Christmas they buy a cake and toast to their health in water, and play games on the living room floor, and even the managers join in the fun.

 

A few days later Yixing faints during practice, and Tao wonders how he could have missed the fact that Yixing had stopped eating properly months ago, then he realizes they all did.

(He doesn’t realize he missed the release of his own teaser until they are all on their way back from the hospital).

 

-

 

Performing at the Gayo Daejun is a blur, and the blur continues until suddenly it’s April, and he can hear the scream of the fans as he waits to go on stage.

 

 

-

Debut is imperfect and his injury bothers him throughout, but Baekhyun squeezes his shoulder reassuringly, and off stage Minseok is by his side constantly.

 There’s no time to soak it up, and even after both showcases it feels like being suspended between a state of “trainee” and “idol”.

-

 

When he talks to his grandmother on the phone after Yinyue Fengyun Bang Awards show, though, he allows himself to let out along-held breath.

 

_You did it_


End file.
